APRIL

Seven days left until his birthday, but till now I do not know why my feelings still unsettled. Have you ever fall in love with someone that you do not know, whose faces you've never seen? that even his full name alone you don't know. Sometimes I think, I was naive because I always imagined that I love him. But now I'm sure that I just half in love with him, hehe.

After all this time, I still hope that someday I will get to see him, perhaps for the first time and the last, but getting here, chances are I've got smaller and smaller. So I have four stupid scenarios, that are looking for him, waiting for him, give up, or forget him. 

Actually  I've been trying to find him and the result is nil, haha. And I will be foolish if I waiting for him again ( apparently the last time we were in touch was four years ago, oh my..). So the option left is to surrender or forget it, hmm.. difficult choices. 

I think he is my guardian, he always be there when I need him. And the past four years I pretended that someday he will come again to save my day..haha how silly my thought was!.

So I think, its time to forget him, right?. Till April, 26th this year I will wait to convey his last birthday, and after that I wish I will be free. I hope I'll be able to open my eyes, min, and heart for others. In fact the record for someone that filled my heart was pathetic, haha.

I just hope for the last time that my guardian will be happy wherever he is now....