I've read psychology fact about friendship, that we will lost some old friends and make a new one every some years, I forgot the exact words, hehe. And I think right now I agree  with that fact. So the story began...

I always try to be the best person for others especially for my friends. I will make confession time, haha. I described myself as introvert, hard to trust others, hate liars, and can't forget others mistake, I try to forget but I just can't :(. So since long time a go, I actually have my list for friends that made me hurt and I can't believe them again. And the list now increase, hehe..Believe it the closest person to you more potential being suspect in the list, haha.

I always try to keep in touch with all my best friends, but now I realised that I'm not good enough doing this thing. and when I knew it, my heart is hurt, and I cry a lot this day because of this. Let's talk about the list.

I have a friend from junior high school, long time a go we were very close till we had different senior high school. Then she go to abroad and we lost contact. Err actually I sent email for her but didn't get the replay :'(. And after she came back in this country I tried again to make contact. and now I know that it just my wishful thinking, haha how foolish I am. She always forgot my birthday on 8 years or so and the climax was when her birthday came, I said it to her, sent her message but didn't get the replay ( again) I realised that I lost her long time a go. But I keep trying to improve the relationship. unfortunately time wasn't on my side, so I let her go, no regrets :).

Another friend from highschool, we didn't that close . I know from the start that I'm being used. she call me when needed me, and when i need her, she didn't there. I know her behaviour, I accept it, till he broke her promises and didn't feel sorry for it. I hate that. She always did it to me, though. So she was in my list, and I didn't regret it either :P.

I think all my list was friends from my highschool, haha. But now there 's  a boy. I didn't remember the problem was, just misunderstanding maybe. But when I try to keep in touch with him again, I knew something wrong. He wasn't the same person that I know long time a go. I didn't want the new of him, so I let him walk away from my miserable life too.

The most trivial things was I've put my friend to the list because he broke his promise to lend me his book, haha.It's silly but hey I hate his action. so one day when he came to home he say to lend me a book, but on that day I message him to take his book, but he didn't replay it, So I canceled borrow his book. Days after that he send me message, ask me something but I didn't replay it, haha. I just can't forget his behaviour before. so just like that he's on my list, he never knew my list though.

And the new one, that make me cry (because my hormon increase not because I'm terafull :P), haha. One of my bestfriends back in highschool just married but didn't tell me. It's make my heart ache. On her very important moment, she didn't tell me any word. Damn, I feel betrayed. It's still fresh on my memories the silly things that we willl make on our wedding, such us the childish invitation design cards etc. Thought she forgot all of that. And I know she deliberaty forgotten cause before that wedding, she said happy birthday to me and I said the same to her ( just two days after mine is her birthday) but she didn't tell me anything. So I'm not good enough for her, and she was not good enough for me either. I'm done with it. End of story :p.

All of the judgment above is from my mind right now, the worst in me maybe that made a list like that, haha. But seriously I will not trust them anymore. So I think my friends don't know me better if they don't know my hobby to make a list on everything :D. Maybe they're still didn't know my others secret. I can keep it as long as I want, though.

I always try the best and give the best of me to all the people I love. But I will tell that people/ friends that really know me ( on my best and worst) can be counted on fingers. And I always grateful for their love to me.

So because I lost some friends, It's time to make the new one. I think I will try harder this time to make the new one and still keep the old friends :))

Best wishes to all people around the world, give kiss and hugs to people that you love ;)

The 17th book of  In Death series by J.D. Robb aka Nora Roberts finally translated to Indonesian by Gramedia, huhuhu How i miss Roarke so bad, halah..haha. the book translated on July but I read it last September.

This book tell about the serial killer that challenge Eve Dallas to catch him. He killed imitated serial killer in the past. First he imitate Jack the Ripper, the famous killer from Whitechapel, London. Second he imitate Albert DeSalvo, The Boston Strangler. Eve had suspected the killer, but all og them were very famous people, artist, musician, author, ambassador etc. With helped from her adjutant, Peabody, her beloved husband, Roarke, also from Feeney, McNab, Baxter, and Trueheart and dr. Mira's opinion finally the killer can catched by her team. 

For the information, I can guess the killer since chapter 18, haha. Very proud of myself  lol.

In this book Peabody got her detective badge. she want move in with McNab to new apartement. Roarke as usual very charming, haha but he failed to use the toaster, this reality made me laugh a lot. I can not wait to read the next book, Divided in Death.. Gramedia please huryy to translate it :).

And I give 5 stars for this book, As usual J.D. Robb very creative with the motive, plot bla bla bla.. Very entertaining!!!

Short story of Troubleshooters series by Suz Brockmann. There are 14 stories about the character of  TS. A lot of Sam, Alyssa, and Jules, haha. But my favorite stories always about Jenk, Izzy, Dan and Lopez. there are two stories about the four men, first meet with Tony Vlachick that made me laugh a lot and the interview with Suz, also very funny, hehe.

The compilation story actually written by Suz between 2005 till 2013 but the ebook I read published 2013. and I read this last September. The TS series would stop in a while cos Suz got another project. The project still talk about Navy Seal, that would be trilogy ( the spoiler tell about Martee Griffin, hehe). The first book, Born To Darkness published in 2012 but I don't read it yet, hehe. And the second book Do or Die would be available on February 2014. 

I still hope story about Lopez though. I want all of the story about team sixteen.

This is the last book of  TS series, huhuhuhu. Hope Suz would write again about Lopez  :).

So the story in this book about Gillman's. Dan Gillman and Jennilyn LeMay, Eden Gillman and Izzy Zanella, also the youngest, Ben Gillman. He was gay hohoho. I'm very informatif lol. 

The story begin when Gregg, his step father send him to church project because of his illnes cos being gay. he fading and live with Eden who came back from Germany. Eden didin't call Izzy, his husband but she work at club as dancer in Las Vegas. In the meantime Ben meet with Neesha, girl from Asian that being kidnapped when still child and be created as slave. So the human trafficking  case made Izzy and his nemesis Dan to cooperate each other to save their family. The misunderstandings years between Eden and Dan finnaly end. Dan and Jenn married in Las Vegas. Eden finnaly come back with Izzy... yeah everybody happy except me cos the series would be dormant, huhu.

Haha I just kidding, I know that Suz have another project about Seal..So I would live another day to read all of her books, LOL

About the books, I still rate 5 stars. I like Izzy but I don't like Dan, haha.